This month, though a joyful season, is also a very hard time for our family. This time last year, it was a quick downward slope for my mother in law, who one day was almost perfectly healthy and the next day, she was comatose. She was, without warning, inflicted with a brain tumor that quickly took over her body. There were signs, but she was too afraid to hear what the doctors were going to tell her and we were all oblivious or just unaware of what they were. Last Christmas, we spent a few hours in the hospital, by her bedside with other family members and Josh's dad Jim. By this time, we were still hopeful that she would make it through, come home and we would celebrate Christmas with her at home. But a few weeks later, she went to be with Jesus. So her memories and knowing how much she loved Christmas, have been on my mind a lot this month. I don't think there's a day that goes by that I don't think about her. But Christmas time she is constantly on my mind as the sights, sounds and smells remind me of her. She loved Christmas. Her house was always decorated immediately following Thanksgiving. Every room. Garland, trees, dishes, towels, table cloths, everything. She would bake huge amounts of cookies and sweet treats the whole month to bless everyone she knew. She loved giving gifts and we loved giving gifts to her. She was always sending me home with a new Christmas decoration that she had bought on sale and couldn't pass up, but didn't have room for herself. She would do the same with the after Christmas sales. She was also a very talented woman. Cooking, baking, sewing, crafting, decorating. She could pretty much do it all. So one of the my favorite talents she had was making Christmas garlands and wreaths. I have several pieces, still hanging today, waiting to be put away until next year. They're at least 10 feet long, greenery covered in ornaments of whatever color scheme I requested and then strung with lights. I love, love, love turning them on at night, with no other lights on. It just fills the air with a Christmas spirit. It's these things that I will treasure most about our precious Nancy. Some days I still can't believe we won't see her until we get to Heaven. It just doesn't seem real. That someone can be here one day and not the next. It still feels like a bad dream. It hasn't faded. I'm not sure if the pain ever will. But until I am reunited with her again, I remember her through her talents that she so blessed me with, including her food. I try to cook her recipes often. I always remember how she taught me to turn a seam inside out. How to get a string through that seem, which is especially handy when Lucas pulls the string out of our hoodies and you have to get it back through the tiny tunnel of fabric. Life will never be the same without Nancy but I hope my kids still learn who she was and how much their grandma loved them and would be so proud of them.
My side of the family also experienced a loss
this month. On December 17th, my Grandpa Tom (my dad's dad) passed away with his kids and my Grandma by his side. He would've been 82 this February. The past few years he has fallen to numerous health issues but was triumpant to many others. He pulled through quadruple bypass surgery some years ago. Kidney failure and daily dialasis, Diabetes, a broken hip and skin cancer. He was a fighter. Mentally, he was still 100% with us, which made it almost harder for us to watch. But on December 7th he went in for surgery on his lungs, to remove some cysts. They started first by draining them, to see how he would do. At one point his lung started to collapse so they opted to just do the draining and not the removal. From that day he was on a breathing tube until his lung could inflate on it's own. By Sunday the 12th, they were willing to try removing the breathing tube. It had been up and down since the surgery and every day we prepared to say goodbye. But he did it! He breathed on his own. He slowly started to come out of the heavy sedation and he was recognizing us and talking a little. Over the next week, he seemed to be doing much better but then Friday morning, the 16th, I got a call from my dad that he had taken a turn and was not doing good. He told others he was tired of living this way and he was having visions of Heaven and his son Tim, whom died as a young kid. He said he had a dream that his obituary was written for Friday the 16th. During these two weeks, I spent a lot of time with my family at the hospital. Some were there from morning until night, every day. I left late that night and though I was very hesitant to see him in the state that he was, I said goodbye to him. I kissed him, told him I loved him and held his hand for a few minutes. The next morning, the 17th, I was planning to go back to the hospital at some point. We all knew he wouldn't live much longer. As I was pulling out of the driveway my dad called and said he had passed. My Grandma and his 4 kids were by his side, my dad making it only 15 minutes before. Then on Tuesday, December 28th, we celebrated his life. It was a great service, at the Catholic church my Grandparents go to. I learned a few things about my grandpa I didn't know, which was so comforting and the things people said about him were truly special. Following the service, we all enjoyed some food together. It was a great time remembering my Grandpa. He will be missed.
I love you Grandpa.
February 11, 1930- December 17th, 2011
